I'm about to do my homework and study Ch. 9, grr.. it's so frustrating, I don't get it. So before I get all pissed off, I need to release my stress and anger.
I talked to my dad on weds. afternoon, talked about my educational goals and what not. After I talked to Rusel, it got me thinking about all of the things that has been running through my mind. Maybe I should just go ahead with the nursing school, and leave behind this plan of wanting to transfer to mount saint mary's, after all.. it's the same thing, it's just the nursing school will be done a lot faster than I anticipated. But I dont know why I'm rushing so much to get my carreer started. I really think it has a lot to do with being so tired of doing all of these pre-requisite classes, I just really wanna get started with learning about how to be a nurse, etc. I look at these people and it's like I want to be at that level, I want to wear scrubs :(. So anyways, I've been thinking a lot and I really don't know what I'm going to do and where I want to be at. Hm, I was thinking that I should just stick through this year again, and go as I planned.. and just apply at mount saint mary's. It's making me feel so stressed though because my dad is worrying about the money, when it's like.. dude. I want to challenge myself and see if I could really achieve this. I was reading about motivation earlier, and it made me realize that I have to set a goal to be able to be motivated. As of now, this is my goal.. to follow my educational goal and just continue with my plans. It's kind of funny, because I look at all these classes I have to take, and I've been talking to these people in my math class, who is in the same situation as I am, they're trying to get in the nursing program at COC, and they tell me that I'm crazy and I should just not transfer. Hm, but I don't want to give myself that "free pass" and take the easy way out on things. I really want to work hard on something that I really want. But we'll see, where THIS will take me, I could just be saying this, a lot can change. Kind of like my plans over the summer, that changed.. I had a different route and approach on things, but that didn't pull through and look where I am.
I was feeling really discouraged and confused last night, I dont even know what to do with my life. Everytime my dad talks to me about these stuff, it's as if hes discouraging me with my plans. Though, I know he's just trying to make sure this is what I really want to do, and this is what I really wanna do..trust.
I'm so lost, I don't wanna be where I am at right now. Blehh..
