to do a special blog.
yesterday was kuya jesse's birthday! i went to kuya dino's house last night for the prayer/celebration. So, happy birthday kuya jesse!
On the way to school today, my ipod played "I'll be missing you" the one by p.diddy and faith evans, upon hearing it and really listening to it, it made me really sad. After that, "Life goes on" by tupac played, and I remember that one car ride when we left kuya dino's house and darryl emphasized on the lyrics of the song, it brought me to it and made me even more sad. To top it, the song "Now that you're gone" by smilez and southstar came after it. I was hearing all of these songs and I started to cry, I don't know why I feel this. Then I started to think how I'm so sad that I'm affected by this. I didn't have the time to actually get to know kuya jesse. He was just always there and he was someone I never really took the time to know, that makes me really sad.
Then I started to think when I was still 15, I would always say my greatest fear was to loose someone I love, but during that time I didn't really know what losing someone ACTUALLY feels. &now I do, but it's not like I developed some sort of relationship with kuya jesse to actually feel a love, but I dont know.. I might just.
But the strangest thing happened. The other week I dreamt of kuya jesse, I dreamt that he came back and we were all at kuya dino's house.. and everything was back to normal. I disregarded that dream though, up until darryl told me the dream he had friday night. It was the same damn dream that I had! I just listened to darryl and I felt something really weird and I started to get really freaking scared. After darryl and I hung up the phone, I cried like a freaking baby! It was so weird, I didn't even know why I was crying.
I started to think how do you think people who pass away communicate with you?
RIP JESSE MARTIN!
